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Spike Milligan
Scene 17
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Scene 17
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And Finally

'He has given us... His shoe!'

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[holy music]

FOLLOWERS:

Oh! Oh! Ohh! Oh! Ah! Oh!

ARTHUR:

He has given us a sign!

FOLLOWER:

Oh!

SHOE FOLLOWER:

He has given us... His shoe!

ARTHUR:

The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example.

SPIKE:

What?

ARTHUR:

Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be
upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.

EDDIE:

Yes.

SHOE FOLLOWER:

No, no, no. The shoe is...

YOUTH:

No.

SHOE FOLLOWER:

...a sign that we must gather shoes together in abundance.

GIRL:

Cast off...

SPIKE:

Aye. What?

GIRL:

...the shoes! Follow the Gourd!

SHOE FOLLOWER:

No! Let us gather shoes together!

FRANK:

Yes.

SHOE FOLLOWER:

Let me!

ELSIE:

Oh, get off!

YOUTH:

No, no! It is a sign that, like Him, we must think not of the things of the body, but of the face and head!

SHOE FOLLOWER:

Give me your shoe!

YOUTH:

Get off!

GIRL:

Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!

FOLLOWER:

The Gourd!

HARRY:

Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us!

ARTHUR:

It is a shoe! It is a shoe!

HARRY:

It's a sandal!

ARTHUR:

No, it isn't!

GIRL:

Cast it away!

ARTHUR:

Put it on!

YOUTH:

And clear off!

SHOE FOLLOWER:

Take the shoes and follow Him!

GIRL:

Come,...

FRANK:

Yes!

GIRL:

...all ye who call yourself Gourdenes!

SPIKE:

Stop! Stop! Stop, I say! Stop! Let us-- let us pray. Yea, He cometh to us, like the seed to the grain.


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mike@spikemilligan.co.uk